Lavender Marriages In Historical And Modern Contexts

A photo from the Stonewall Uprising in 1969.

Historically, a lavender marriage referred to a seemingly heterosexual union between a man and a woman wherein one or both parties were secretly homosexual, or part of the LGBTQ+ community. The color lavender to describe the LGBTQ+ community stems from Oscar Wilde’s 1890s novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray, in which he described homosexual moments as “purple hours,” and the ancient Greek poet Sappho, who wrote of her love for women with “violet tiaras.”

By 1930, the homosexual community was associated with purple, and in our case, lavender. This term has been used many times since, especially on TikTok and other social media platforms, sometimes wrongly, so to understand the modern uses, we need to look back at its history and the origins. Lavender marriages have shifted from a survival strategy rooted in oppression to a modern, economic arrangement shaped by changing social and financial spheres. 

Rise of Hollywood

This history of bigotry and resistance is vital to understanding the reasons behind lavender marriages, even though, interestingly, homosexuals weren’t viewed as taboo in the 1920s during the rise of the Hollywood scene, as much as they were later in the 1950s and 60s. The era of the Roaring Twenties, marked by dramatic social, economic, and political change, made homosexuality more normalized. As Hollywood grew during this time, more stars came into the spotlight, some with homosexual allegations, which the big agencies and studios thought to be detrimental to their reputations. This led to closeted and forced relationships to hide sexuality, which have now come to be known as lavender marriages. One example of this is the famed actor Rock Hudson, who was seen as a “heartthrob” during the Golden Age of Hollywood, and his marriage to Phyllis Gates, his agent’s secretary. She divorced him a couple of years after their marriage due to “mental cruelty.” Now, many consider it “common knowledge” that Hudson was gay, but back then, it would’ve smeared his reputation as an “all-American man” in Hollywood and ended his career.

Many other examples exist of lavender marriages, specifically Hollywood stars or regular people seeking to escape the threat of being outed, which, during that time period, could have gotten you arrested or made you a victim of discrimination and violence. Another famous Hollywood lavender marriage was the 1919 marriage of silent film actor and early Hollywood symbol Rudolph Valentino and actress Jean Acker, who was rumored to have been a lesbian. They divorced soon after, due to Acker regretting the marriage. 

Lavender Scare and Discrimination Laws

As mentioned before, this term has been emerging since the early 1900s. A notable use of the word lavender when referring to homosexuals was the Lavender Scare in the 1950s and 1960s, where thousands of homosexual employees were fired or forced to resign due to their sexuality. In the mid-1900s, homosexuality was seen as an illness; in 1948, Congress passed an act “for the treatment of sexual psychopaths” in the nation’s capital, and public fear led to alienation and panic (hence the “scare” part). The Lavender Scare itself was a result of the Hoey Report, which stated that homosexuals were “unsuitable for employment in the Federal Government” due to “security risks in positions of public trust.” More laws ensued; in 1947, the U.S. Park Police initiated a “Sex Perversion Elimination Program,” targeting gay men for arrest and intimidation. The Hoey report was used as a justification for the unjust treatment of homosexuals for many decades, specifically passing laws on the precedent that homosexuality was an illness.

The LGBTQ+ community was excluded and discriminated against for decades, and this tension culminated notably at the Stonewall Uprising in 1969—most call it the Stonewall Riots, but a participant in the uprising stated that “it was a civil rights disobedience…it wasn’t no damn riot.” These uprisings were significant as they became well-known due to media coverage and changed the course of LGBTQ+ rights to the present day. Thanks to Stonewall, the Pride Parade became established as a yearly event, and the Stonewall Inn became a national monument in 2016. 

Modern Lavender Marriages

The benefits of a Lavender Marriage from almost a century ago differ greatly from the modern meaning. Before, it was used to preserve an image, escape societal judgment, and the law. These marriages only existed because of societal pressures and widespread homophobia. If homosexual individuals were never oppressed, this arrangement wouldn’t have had the need to exist. In our present day, it’s used by younger people to reduce their financial burden. Many Gen-Z TikTokers are stating that they “would be down” for a lavender marriage to get the financial perks in today’s economy, including tax advantages, spousal Social Security benefits, insurance discounts, and pooled retirement resources. On TikTok, the term is losing its historical weight, being used in all contexts, with people not understanding the history in which it emerged. But with the growing unrest and political instability in the U.S., it’s understandable how this term is becoming more popular in modern-day society. Trump, stating that he wants to eliminate anti-discrimination policies and strip LGBTQ+ rights, has the homosexual community in the U.S. worrying that perhaps lavender marriages are still needed to protect an individual’s rights. 

Contributing to a tainted history, lavender marriages are a significant indicator of all the discrimination and social stigma this community experienced. From figures like Rock Hudson and Jean Acker to the Lavender Scare, these unions were shaped by fear and the need to conform. The Stonewall Uprising marked a turning point, challenging the conditions that once made them necessary. Today, the term has taken on a new meaning, often tied to financial or social convenience. While this reflects changing attitudes, some political activists are threatening the return and need for lavender marriages. Understanding its origins is essential to recognizing the struggles that defined it.